All's Faire

More to come later today/tomorrow!

MOAR!

aww... none has come

Moar will be up in maybe...an hour?

I awoke the next morning and packed my belongings quickly. I intended to leave the city as quickly as possible, and maybe stop by and see Will. His actions of the previous night still sank heavily in my heart. The barman nodded as I left, but I didn’t return his greeting. The sun had already risen and the fresh light of day shone across the streets and alleys, dispelling the shadows of last night.

I hurried towards the north gate, not bothering to stop at the market for breakfast. I no longer had the stomach to see the place. Leaving the city was now the first thing on my mind. Unfortunately, the Ardougne guards seemed to have other plans. When I arrived at the gate, I saw five guards standing shoulder to shoulder across the path, spears in their hands.

“Morning, officers,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. “Can I come through?”

“No, citizen,” replied one of them curtly. “A key city officer was murdered last night, and no one is allowed in or out of the city until the matter has been resolved.”

I attempted to bargain with the guard, but he obstinately refused to get out of my way. Disgusted, I turned back into the city to try and find another way out. All the other exits, I soon found out, were similarly blocked, and it quickly became apparent that the only way to leave the city would be to teleport.

As a humble traveler, I didn’t keep hordes of magical runes stacked in my bank, but I did have a few air runes saved up from adventures past. The problem was in obtaining the law rune. Luckily, there was a merchant hawking his wares outside one of the banks. He was selling law runes at the unbelievable price of three hundred coins for one rune! Imagine, having to spend nearly three weeks of adventuring profits on a single law rune. The swindler tossed my gold in his sack as though it were of no consequence. How such a man can be alive! But I had my runes and now could leave the city.

My magic level, though not impressive, was sufficiently high enough to teleport to the nearby castle of Camelot. The knights there were chummy, if overly fond of fighting. I summoned all my mental prowess and initiated the teleportation. A few seconds of uncomfortable jolting later, I landed on my feet in front of the castle gates. It was a good three or four hours from here to the farms north of Ardougne, but it was certainly closer than walking all the way from Lumbridge, a journey which would take weeks at the earliest!

For the remainder of the morning, I trekked along the road from Camelot. I stopped for breakfast in the village of the seers (nothing more than a bucket of water and some cheese) and was quickly headed south towards the farms. The small road began winding through the wheat fields, and it was all I could do not to stop and lie down for a moment in the tall grass (much as I had done on my first trip to Ardougne). However, the breeze was picking up, and the sky overhead was cloudy, and I dared not stop. Will would have expected me several hours ago, and I wasn’t sure if he would even still be waiting by the bushes.

Eventually, I found myself nearing the field where the distillery equipment was hidden. In the distance, I could see the large gates of Ardougne, and the tiny men standing on the path. I dashed along the fence and soon found my four friends crouched among the contraption.

“There you are!” whispered Will. “We were beginning to think they had caught you! Now, listen…”

“Before you talk,” I said, making sure to stop him before he got going, “I just want to say that I won’t be killing anyone for you. I had enough of that last night.”

Will looked sick to his stomach at my words, but quickly put on a brave face. “No, no. Nothing like that. We just need a place to hide. You see, my father’s friendly with the force, but he can’t keep something like murder off of us. Our only hope is to flee the city for a bit, until things settle down, right? Only, we’ve never really been out of the city and can’t think of anywhere to go.”

“We’re right scuttled,” chipped in Bert, who was slapped by Lars.

“We want you to get back into the city and ask around about hiding spots.”

“But that’s crazy!” I shouted, my voice rising in disbelief. Will and the others quickly shushed me, looking around as though guards would pop out of the corn to arrest us if I should talk louder than a whisper. “That’s crazy,” I whispered. “I’m not teleporting back into the city to ask people about hiding spots!”

“No, you’re not,” agreed Myra. “That old wizard hag in the city blocked all teleportation in and out of the city a few minutes ago.”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” I muttered.

“Well, you won’t be asking the guards for information,” Will said in a tone that was perhaps more condescending than he meant. “Try the tavern again. They’re usually a disreputable lot in there who won’t mind helping a fellow out.”

“But how am I supposed to get in?”

“I don’t know! Think of something, traveler! We’re running for our lives here!”

I stomped off, irritated at Will’s lack of helpfulness. Having others do things for too long had left him clueless and helpless. But what was I to do? I had already helped fugitives escape justice, had escaped the city, and now was going to break back in.

As luck would have it, a local farmer, transporting his grain into the city, had gotten a broken wheel a few yards down the road. He was busy fixing the spokes and didn’t notice as I jumped into the cart and covered myself with the grain. It was itchy and I suspected there were spiders crawling around in there, but at least I was hidden. After a few minutes, the cart started up again and I could feel every bump and jolt coming through the wooden frame.

“Halt, farmer!” called a guard’s voice from absurdly close by. “No one is allowed into the city for a few days.”

“But sir,” complained the farmer. “This grain is all I have! My children and wife are starving, and unless I sell this grain, we’ll be without when the frost comes!”

For a moment, I thought the guard would turn away the poor chap, but the cart soon started moving forward again, and I assumed the guard had given the farmer the go-ahead. I waited until the cart had come to a stop again (outside the bank where the farmer would sell his wares, I hoped) and then leapt out of hiding. Fortunately for me, the farmer was nowhere in sight, nor was anyone else.

I made for the tavern as quickly as I could, keeping to the back roads as much as possible. When I entered the door, the barman looked at me and winked. “Realized there’s no getting out of the city for a few days, eh? Suppose you’ll be renting the room for a bit longer?”

“No, I have other lodgings. But tell me, do you know where the best place to hide is?”
“Best place to hide from your feelings is in a nice pint…Want one?”

It was a clever marketing ploy, but I declined, turning instead to the limited clientele of the tavern. Usually, all manner of thieves, vandals, and villains inhabited the tables here, but today it was merely a drunk guard. I didn’t even bother asking him.

Upstairs, only one other room was occupied. I knocked, but received only a grunt as an answer. Not to be denied, I knocked again and shouted into the crack under the door, “Excuse me, friend! Do you know where the best place to hide from something would be?”

Beyond the door, I heard the quick movements of a chair scraping and hurried footsteps. Then, something fell to the floor, and I could hear ragged breathing coming from a few inches. A rotten smell, like bad meat, met my nostrils and I recoiled from the door.

“Hide?” rasped the man inside. He sounded as though he hadn’t spoken in years and spiders had taken up residence in his esophagus. “Hide…Carnivals. Oh yes, they never look for you there…Weeks and weeks searching every inch, and they’d never find you in a…carnival…” In between every word, the man took deep, rattling breaths that made me shiver.

“So, er, a carnival?” I asked, doubtful. “I don’t suppose you know where any would be?”

“The woods!” cried the man behind the door, in a howl of delight. “In the woods, the carnival is already preparing…For hiding…”

“What woods?”

“The woods with the owls and the red bushy-tailed vermin and the trees…where they all hide together…”

“Er…right. Thanks, Mr…?” I waited for an answer, but it was if the man inside had disappeared. I looked through the crack, but my view was blocked, presumably by the crouching figure of the man. He was still there, but must have passed out. His breathing had truly sounded horrendous. Still, there was no time to check on him. I had my information and had to make my way back out of the city as quickly as possible. The afternoon was wearing on, and I wanted to be to the Owl’s Forest (for that’s where all hints pointed) by dusk.

Getting out of the city was easy enough. By the time I left the tavern, the farmer from before had managed to unload his grain and had made a pretty penny. There was a spare blanket lying in the cart that I managed to cover myself with. The guard didn’t look twice at me as we passed through the gates. Once we were safely out of sight, I waited until the farmer took a break to drink some water, and then I hopped off and dashed back to the gang.

“Anything?” asked Will, as soon as I had arrived.

“The Owl’s Forest,” I panted, having sprinted as fast as I could away from the farmer. “There’s going to be a carnival there, and this one man in the tavern said that you could stay hidden in carnivals for ages. Besides, I think the forest itself would be a good hiding place.”

“Brilliant as always, traveler!” beamed Will, beside himself. “Now, all we have to do is-”

Will was cut off as a guttural roar could be heard coming through the corn.

“Saradomin preserve us!” cried Lars. “That’s Big Ben!”

“Who?”

“Big Ben,” repeated Lars. “The biggest, meanest, stupidest guard on the force! He must have seen you leaving the city!”

“Do you mind taking care of this, traveler?” Will asked, shrinking behind me. “I’ve had enough blood for one lifetime.” With that, he, Myra, and Lars all dashed for the neighboring field. Only Bert remained to help me.

“Thanks,” I smiled gratefully.

Bert merely grunted, but his presence calmed me. The roars were still coming through the field, and I wondered briefly whether Big Ben had any semblance of sentience at all.
That was question was answered as soon as I saw the man. He was far taller than any human should be and far wider. His muscles bulged out of his shirt, which, despite being incredibly large, was too small to cover his bulk. Beady eyes glared out from under a rough helmet that was actually just a platebody with holes cut out for eyes. He didn’t have a weapon, but his fists were enough to punch a tree down.

“You…kill…Cap!” bellowed the creature, which was probably the extent of his linguistic ability. Before Bert or I had a chance to say anything, Big Ben had bounded over the fence separating him from us and was preparing to pummel me.

Bert ran around behind him and attempted to knock him unconscious with some rocks he had found. It was as though he was throwing motes of dust. Big Ben didn’t notice at all. His attention was focused entirely on me. I drew my blade and began to circle, the few weeks spent practicing at the Lumbridge training school rising to the forefront of my mind.

My blade whipped forward and slashed at the man’s cheek. A line of red appeared there, but he wiped it away with a look of glee. Clearly, pain was nothing to Big Ben. Suddenly, I was flying backwards, hit by one of Big Ben’s massive palms. I landed heavily on the ground and stood up before I could be beaten to death. I slashed out wildly and my steel laid open one of the guard’s arms. This time, the pain seemed to get through to him. It wasn’t a deep cut by any means, but across an artery. If he didn’t flee right now, he would be dead in a few minutes.

Big Ben didn’t know this fact, but he did know that the little man who caused him the big pain was still living. He summoned all his might and threw a punch at me. I dodged it by the skin of my teeth and returned with a stab through his shoulder. By this point, I was reaching the blood rage and battle frenzy that all adventurers experience whenever they are engaged in a furious fight. Life meant nothing to me, and all I cared about was destroying my opponent.

I swung around to his other side and plunged by sword into his stomach. He doubled over and collapsed onto all fours, heaving. Standing over top of him, like a hunter atop his prey, I plunged my sword into the behemoth’s back and wrenched it out, sending a spray of crimson across the grass. Bert, meanwhile, had fainted into the cornfield. Big Ben dead, the threat over, I roused Bert and led him over to the field where Will and the others had fled.

“Come on, let’s get out of here!” Will grabbed me by the arm and started running before I could say anything. We were on our way to the Owl’s Forest, and I didn’t even have a chance to wipe off my blade.



Not quite the end yet!

We dashed into the forest, not bothering for a second to think about which direction we wanted to take. Left, right, straight, right, it all blurred together. Our feet pounded the ground, our limbs flew faster than the wind. Around us, I could hear the foxes scattering from the great noise that invaded their forest. Above, the sky grew darker as we entered deeper into the forest. Finally, the path led out into a huge clearing, the majority of which was fenced off by a high wooden fence.

“What’s this?” Will asked, drawing nearer to take a look. “There’s a flyer attached to this thing. Let’s see… ‘Batterman’s Carnvial. Coming Soon!’ Sounds like we’ve got the right place.”

“It doesn’t seem to be up yet,” remarked Lars.

“Well, they’ve only just begun to set up. Traveler, go take a turn around the fence and see if there’s a man you can talk to. Ask if we can get in yet.”

I didn’t feel up to arguing, so I strolled around the perimeter of the fence. On the far side, a man dressed as a clown was lounging against the wall. His orange, red, and yellow costume seemed vaguely familiar, but I put it out of my mind.

“Excuse me, Mr. Clown, could me and my friends possibly spend the night inside?” I didn’t mention that they’d probably be spending several weeks, if not months, in there, but that fact wouldn’t have mattered to this clown.

“Carnival’s not up yet,” he grunted.

“Yes, but we don’t have lodgings, and we’d rather not spend the night out in the woods.”

“Carnival’s not up yet,” the clown grunted again.

“Well, when will it be up?” I asked, getting more exasperated by the second.

“When it’s up.”

I threw my hands up in anger and stopped away. Clearly this clown was too thick to understand anything I was saying to him. I related the information to the group, and they took it as best they could.

“We’ll just hang around in the forest until the circus is up, then,” Will said cheerfully. “We’ll live amongst the foxes and birdies and other beasties. Come visit us, yeah, when the carnival’s in town?”

“I’ll try,” I said. I shook hands with the four of them, sort of sad to see the back of them. It had been a horrifying ordeal, but I had gotten used to their company.

“Before you head out, I figure I should give you a little something for your trouble. It’s not every day a traveler helps out as much as you did. Take these trick lamps I knicked from the market. They’re good for a laugh.” He offered me two golden lamps, which I took eagerly. When I rubbed them, the usual thick fog enveloped me and I could choose which skill I would become more experienced in. The voice in my head, however, notified me that I would be gaining an entire level in the skill of my choice, not just experience! Eagerly, I chose my skills (farming and fishing, both dreary skills), but was dismayed to learn that the lamps were indeed a trick and merely gave knowledge, not levels.

“Ha ha! What a trick! Oh, that’s a good laugh, eh, traveler?”

It was all I could do not to cuff Will on the head, but I took the high road and brushed it off. After all, an adventurer of my status is too good for that sort of thing. I waved farewell once more and started off down the trail again, eager to leave the Owl’s Forest and get back on my way west.


THE END

Comments, questions, concerns? This is only the first quest, so there's not much to do with the carnival, but how was it for a setup?

Smiley faces are good, albeit unhelpful.

The description when you scroll over the smilie is what I was going for.