Our own torment

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Our own torment

Post by Duskcurse on Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:24 am

Well today in school I was thinking about my problems and I came to a conclusion, and that is that I am the rotting phoenix, a creature wich came to my mind, imagina a fenix who is dying and when it revives it revives with the same pain over and over again and even worst than last time, well I am the same, when I fall a part of my torment grews but I kept reviving, so well if you want you can tell me your own torments, well this was to express my feeling I apologise if I do bother someone
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Duskcurse on Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:50 am

I am srry if this do botters someone.


Note: I am not gay I am just someone who likes to talk more directly
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Re: Our own torment

Post by MorbiusMonster on Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:53 am

If this is similar to emotions anonymous, then I have something more to say.

The central emotion to my existence at present is anger, pure anger. The cause of my rage eluded me for some great amount of time, my body feeling slowled corroded by vengeful feelings, the harshness could be felt in my breath, the tension overcrowding my muscles and my stomach would continously roll over, like it was having a temper tantrum of its own.

The cause came to light this morning; the rage is the response to a lack of purpose, the necessity to exist and to want being all consuming and neglected. For a very long time, I suffered harsh abuse on a daily basis and it crippled me emotionally. Being in my company was unpleasant, for those that had such little potential and almost worryingly poor mental prowess sought to remove comfort from my life. The only decent thought I had in my head for all that time was that they would lose out, as a result of their ignorance, and that I would be alpha to their omega, their talent and the collective talents of all that would sprout from the fruit of their loins being subordinate to mine by powers of three. I have far greater mental prowess than they do, but after f***ing seven years on constantly having to endure it, I am still no further from them! My life should have purpose beyond theirs, that I would find enjoyment in occupation, whilst they would slowly drain themselves dry of life through cheap, sinful thrills, but this world denies me so. And it's not fair!

All the time I hear of those that title themselves as my friends, and I listen to what they have to say. The world has rewarded them fairly for their efforts, but I had to stay behind, hoping one would stay with me. None remain, and my isolation pains me. I listen continuously at how they have achieved, at how they have been rewarded and how they have people who really care for them, and it BURNS me! My life was deprived of the comforts of humanity, I was in a cold, dark room, voices screaming in my bleeding ears as I laid feeble for it to stop, whilst for them, the door was opened and mine was deadlocked. I just feel so enraged that they, those who claimed to be my friends, replaced me in that locker once more. And it's not fair!

I recall a night some time ago. A contest, I had strived to exceed, presented the results. Contests gone, I had always appreciated the fellow talents, but this time there was only hunger and rage once more. When one asked me why it bothered me such, my reply was simple.

"It was all I had to live for..."

Frequently, the world betrays me, after I have endured so much from the cruel workings of man. I strive to achieve, I strive to learn and to be acknowledge, and the world leaves me to f***ing fend for myself and my simplest desires face denial. I ask for almost nought, but it shall not deliver, for nought is neglible. Now the rage burns up greater than ever, my suffering was in vain, for the world simply refuses me the asylum and relief I deserve. My potential dismissed, my needs unmet, my comfort removed and my life without meaning.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Duskcurse on Sat Oct 30, 2010 8:03 am

I too felt in that way but my motives are different
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Dark Avorian on Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:16 am

*wonders if morbius is a) psychotic b) playing a joke or c) egotistical and mildly delusional.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Duskcurse on Sun Oct 31, 2010 2:01 am

Since you are here dark tell us your torment?
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Re: Our own torment

Post by jeroenvt on Sun Oct 31, 2010 3:29 am

Dark, I'd have to take A for morb.

As for my torment, here it is:

Day in, day out, I have to live with the fact that my cousin has murdered people. Every day I feel the eyes of those whom he'd killed burn holes in my back, never leaving me alone. Day after day I try to cope with the torment of being mocked, made fun of, and pretty much hated by almost everyone I know in real life.

I am 15, bisexual, closely related to a murderer and on the verge of becoming a psychopath. My few points of solitude are some of my best friends, whom have been with me ever since I first felt the sting of hatred, keeping me from insanity.

I do not believe in God, yet I pray for those my cousin killed nearly every day, in hopes that my family may once be without this torment. The victims live with the pain, which will soften after a while, but I live with the shame, which will never end.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Dark Avorian on Sun Oct 31, 2010 3:41 am

Honestly I'm not tormented by anything.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Duskcurse on Sun Oct 31, 2010 3:57 am

Ok, any problems that you want to tell, also jer I am srry for the thing of your cousin Sad
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Ruy112 on Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:23 am

I must agree with Dark on this one, I'm really not tormented by anything. Of course I have problems, that comes with life, and I tend to feel pointless and without purpose, but it's nothing that torments me.

I feel sorry for you all though, and I suppose that's the best I can do.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by MorbiusMonster on Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:16 am

I am not psychotic. If I was, then it is consequential result of seven years of hell. That is why I choose to write and draw, for they are the only outlets I can truly express myself.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Dark Avorian on Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:22 am

When you say abuse do you mean physical? Mental/Emotional? Or just a damned unpleasant situation?
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Re: Our own torment

Post by MorbiusMonster on Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:25 am

All three, but the latter two moreso than the former.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by jeroenvt on Sun Oct 31, 2010 7:37 am

Morb, I was just kidding.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Duskcurse on Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:42 am

Hi again, hey Jer are you on rs, also ruy wat I meant with torment i meant our problems and about torments, and dont feel srry for me I dont need someone compassion I need someone to help me, also Jer you should thank that you have friend thast back you up my friends never take me seriously, althought I got my family
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Re: Our own torment

Post by 3mptylord on Mon Nov 01, 2010 4:56 am

I am not tormented by anything that I have no power to change. :\

Morb, you sound bitter rather than angry. Just saying.

ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ
If all good things come to an end then we're living in a world where evil wins. 

If there once was love then maybe something survived. If we find a single diamond in the rough then it's worth it. Through a thousand tears if there's one drop of love then it's worth it. 
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Re: Our own torment

Post by MorbiusMonster on Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:36 am

Well, this weekend has felt much better. Much lighter on my feet.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Duskcurse on Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:47 am

You know telling this things from time to time helps a lot I too felt better after saying this Very Happy
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Dark Avorian on Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:51 am

Goddamn the internet age! It rips and tears at some of the foundations of my soul. Damn that man sanderson, given the gift to complete the greatest work of literature I've ever read. Why must he taunt me so with his needless twitter updates and progress bars. These infernal inventions of instantaneous communication slowly sucking the fun of waiting out of everything and turning it into a compulsive game of clicking.

And that egotistical bastard has the temerity to dare and charge a fee to see the first chapters of the book before publication! What the hell! Let the fans wait and it'll be all the better! How dare he charge for it, imposing random restrictions on a thousand categories of devotees! It's not his book, he said so himself, It's jordan's book, and that glorious paragon of a man would never have stooped so low nor been so arrogant as to torment his devoted supplicants in such a way. We are like the Aeil behind Al'thor, and he is like Al'thor with his presumption that he can merely take up the mantle of kingship.

May his work after this ever be blighted. Now he the presumptuous heir chosen after the demise of his predecessor by a council of businessmen will have a horde fawning at his every word merely because he was given the material of a genius! But instead he chooses to lord it over us like the carrot, publishing works in his "breaks" that he has presumed to give himself! Why the f*** can't he show some damnable respect for those who have passed beyond! He should finish the work he was generously handed.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Ruy112 on Mon Nov 01, 2010 4:54 pm

*likes*
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Duskcurse on Tue Nov 02, 2010 1:42 am

Also Ruy srry if I was to rude is that I am sick of people who only show you compassion like telling you that you have no salvation instead of trying to help you
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Ruy112 on Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:01 am

Fine... I supposed it was the best thing I could do, having no idea what you're on about and being a random dude on the interwebz, but hey, since you asked for it.

"TAKE YOURSELF TOGETHER! PROBLEMS DON'T SOLVE THEMSELVES!"

That's my help and/or advice, if you can acknowledge the problems then you can solve them, stop tormenting yourself, unless you like the attention and the self loathing then feel free.

Advice from random guys on the interwebz should not be taken more seriously than necessary.
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Duskcurse on Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:04 am

You know my torment is that IO am alone, because no one comprends me Sad
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Re: Our own torment

Post by Ruy112 on Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:36 am

I've found one... Frederikke Rose Holm...

I've got to work together with her... TWICE...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH!
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