Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

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Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by 3mptylord on Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:26 am

Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

For the suggestion;
Arzonus, the City of Werewolves (original).



Last edited by 3mptylord on Mon Mar 21, 2011 1:01 pm; edited 3 times in total

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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by 3mptylord on Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:15 am

Common feedback as highlighted from the previous thread;
• Add more quirk, whether based on existing folklore or not. It's more a case of lead by example, since RuneScape's races aren't really in plentiful supply of quirks.
• Try not to forget that they aren't a dominant race, nor should or will be.

Feedback from me;
Do not use the term "werewolf" ever, except possibly in descriptions. And that includes lycanthrope, and I'm sure there's a latin version such as Lupus homine (shrugs). I'd suggest coming up with your own word entirely. If this was World of Warcraft, it'd be Arzonus, the City of Worgens, for example (only 'cause I can't think of any other werewolf races that aren't called werewolves, but then again, I also can't think of any werewolf races that are trying to hard to not be werewolves Tongue).

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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by Blaze FF8 on Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:25 am

I agree that it's wise to come up with your own name for your creatures, but ultimately, it's the choice of the author. You can't just say never use this one! Confuse
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by MorbiusMonster on Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:35 am

Arzonusii suits them down to a "T".
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by 3mptylord on Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:28 am

The denomyn of a city is too exclusive though, isn't it? Being Devonshire, English and Terran/Earthican is only relative to birthplace and/or residence... What about Arzonii who don't live in Arzonus, or who were born elsewhere? Since Arzonus is only a city?

Sorry, Arzonusii. :L

Also, I didn't mean it to be foreboding... Just a warning that it's inviting people to misunderstand before you even start. It's misleading more than anything, because people are going to think of folklorish werewolves (or, at minimum, RuneScape's werewolves)... whilst you're just using the name.

There was a fairly well made thread for playing as other races a while back, but right in the first paragraph he'd put "this has nothing to do with WoW"... So a lot of people were posting having obviously not read the idea. In your case the blind-posting isn't negative - people like werewolves and will support regardless - but that doesn't really change that they're not commenting on your idea, just the idea a word brought to mind.

You don't have to change it.


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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by Duskcurse on Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:52 am

Thxs for oppening the thread 3mpty
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by 3mptylord on Wed Nov 17, 2010 5:03 am

You're welcome.

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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by MorbiusMonster on Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:02 pm

Okay, there was one little thing I wanted to add to the list of ideas. At some stage during Arzonus, you acquire their regional spell book, but not all spells are unlocked from the beginning, some are acquired after quests or other activities, but there is one spell I am having trouble thinking over.

This spell summons forth an orb that pulses out a series of irresistable rhythmns that even the most hardened of foes cannot avoid. For a short while, enemies within the vicinity will be distracted through dance allowing the player to make a quick escape or use this as a chance to land attacks. Seriously, it works on everything even bosses. My conundrum is whether it is learnt or earned and to what name should it be given.
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by 3mptylord on Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:41 am

Yay for the Groovotron from Ratchet and Clank - the most broken weapon in the game! Affects everyone, including bosses, meaning epic p0wnage. Grin

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If there once was love then maybe something survived. If we find a single diamond in the rough then it's worth it. Through a thousand tears if there's one drop of love then it's worth it. 
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by MorbiusMonster on Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:48 am

Ideally, Arzonus could do with some light humour to ease some of the burden that the story loads onto the player. This could be that small bit of comic relief.
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by 3mptylord on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:38 am

Tongue

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If all good things come to an end then we're living in a world where evil wins. 

If there once was love then maybe something survived. If we find a single diamond in the rough then it's worth it. Through a thousand tears if there's one drop of love then it's worth it. 
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by MorbiusMonster on Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:46 pm

Master Maelstrom wrote: Dear Suggestion Team,

I see you've taken great enthusiasm in my home city of Arzonus and I can very much approve of how our ingenuity fascinates you, but I believe our opinion on the gods isn't altogether clear.

The following of gods isn't at all condemned in our society in anyway, but we find it hard to follow as such conflict is evoked in the name of these deities, making pursuit of religions to be overly trivial. I personally believe that the gods have used what powers they possess too often for the gain of themselves, and that attitude has rubbed off onto too many of the followers. They simply continue to express unlimited omnipotence, yet not benevolence over all species, save for the likes of Guthix.

Our choice to follow Raizahka is our own. She represents a greater mirror image of a mortal than the gods, which is why so many of our people choose her over many others, because she doesn't biologically distance herself from her followers and doesn't demand their loyalty. Though her ability to age is greatly slowed, she can still die and her powers have limits. Yes, she may be mediocre in comparison to the gods, but that is why we prefer her. She is more of a mirror image of our kind in general, rather than being seen as a pale reflection of man with his power heavily euphemised.

-AM

...
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by 3mptylord on Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:00 pm

I don't think the gods choose to distance themselves from their followers...

Not all are malevolent nor desire the wilful destruction of anything, nor have followers who muddy their name with conflict. The gods have also inspired great things from people, not just violence. Your people reject the known gods for short sighted reasons, petty reasons, yet continue to worship a mortal god who stands for nothing less than what the others stand for - a reason for existence, a way of life, something to devote time to, a greater meaning beyond yourself, etc.

The goddess Seren devoted her entire existence to the Elves, and only left when Guthix decreed that all gods should leave. Her people never fought in the war, merely defended their kingdom; it was only when evil became one of their leaders that the empire began to crumble, it was the corruption of mortals that lead to their downfall - not the will of the gods.

Even Zamorak doesn't wish destruction upon the land, merely it to be liberated from lawful hands. Why should the land be lawful anyway? Why should people not be free to live as they choose? He is the lord of Chaos, nothing more. He wishes to see mortals do unto each other. Even Zamorak knows his name must be known to have the power to be here; he's not going to have everyone killed in senseless violence.

Your wolves are nothing more than Saradomists by a different name. All for the Greater Good.

-3

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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by MorbiusMonster on Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:29 pm

Forget it then. Might as well let you rewrite the whole thing. It's clear that's what you want; for me to write the brief, for you to poke your nose in and aggravate me into surrendering copyright to you and you will receive all credit.

Well it isn't going to happen.
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by MorbiusMonster on Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:31 pm

Okay, then I shall finish this. Raizahka is their private presence. They follow other gods, but limitedly. They dislike the gods, because humans and primitive creatures follow them, and they believe Saradomin, Zamorak and all the others to be a bunch of bastards.

So they're now racist. Happy now?
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by 3mptylord on Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:40 pm

Woah, you get angry too easily. The wolves don't have to worship the human gods, I'm not saying they have to worship the existing gods. Merely, your reason was lame and hypocritical. Just requesting you to create a better reason to improve the integrity of your idea. But because humans are primitive just sounds like their butthurt - trying too hard so abandon some of their genetic heritage because of some misguided belief that humans are all bad that it's obvious it's only motive.

They've been detached from the world for so long, why can't it simply be lost in the transition? You can't worship something you have no knowledge of. Pleased

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If all good things come to an end then we're living in a world where evil wins. 

If there once was love then maybe something survived. If we find a single diamond in the rough then it's worth it. Through a thousand tears if there's one drop of love then it's worth it. 
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by MorbiusMonster on Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:43 pm

If it's any consolation, I will be starting a new full-time job, reducing the time I spend writing this, although I think I gave up and cancelled the deal a while ago, I simply cannot remember.

There was a lot of things I wanted to do alongside it (some canonical, others unrelated), but I can't quite remember all of them. Here's what I can remember.
1. The Dark Hero - The novel sequel to Betrayal at Falador, set in Arzonus.
2. Nightfall - The novel set in the God Wars telling the events of the Nightmare's original domination.
3. The Human's Guide to Arzonus - A field guide of Arzonus, written from the perspective of Terra Maelstrom
4. Arzonus - Legends in Genesis - The story set two years after the main events of Arzonus, set on the New World.

4. Fox Fire - Doctor Who script, set in Oriental Japan featuring the kitsune and the Blight.
5. One Last Memento - Ratchet and Clank story, featuring a species known as the One as antagonists, and the quest to find the YinYang system where evolutionary cousins of the Lombax are said to exist.
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by Duskcurse on Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:55 pm

You cancelled the deal Morb Sad
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by MorbiusMonster on Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:20 pm

That's the thing, I can't remember if I did or not. It is possible I didn't, because I would have had the time to.
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by Dark Avorian on Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:43 pm

MorbiusMonster wrote:Forget it then. Might as well let you rewrite the whole thing. It's clear that's what you want; for me to write the brief, for you to poke your nose in and aggravate me into surrendering copyright to you and you will receive all credit.

Well it isn't going to happen.

Okay. Morbius, calm down. I'm going to put this straight out there: Ideas aren't always perfect. A piece of writing can always be improved, a story can always be improved. When we criticize an aspect of your story it is neither an attack on you, nor an attempt to hijack your piece. It is an attempt to improve it. If, as fellow players, suggesters, and writers we see something that, to our mind, detracts from the total intended effect of the piece, we are going to say it.

Now I admit we can be a bit abrasive. I'm easily the worst. As someone who serves as a writing tutor at my school, I look at what we've said, and realize it was phrased horribly, in exactly the ways I was taught to avoid when dealing with real people. But you, as someone who hasn't been here as long as many of us, are an easy target. So I'm sorry, I've been something of an asshole to you.

So I'm going to try and say this one last time, and I hope to god you don't ignore me. Arzonus is a piece of writing. It has an intended audience (gamers/readers) and an intended effect (awesome engaging story). We, as gamers, readers, and writers are really just giving you feedback on how well we feel you are accomplishing that. The instant you bring a piece out into the public, it's not just in your mind anymore, it now has a purpose and an audience. What we're saying is that we think their are ways to make it more effectively serve it's intended effect. If 3mpty thinks your take on the gods doesn't sit right with him, he's bringing it up so that you can know that aspect may detract from the story for some readers. It's not a personal attack on you.

So I hope you understand, I hope you read what we write in a new light, and I apologize for all the crap I've given you. And good luck on your job Grin!!!

Edit: I forgot, one more thing about our feedback. I know it may feel a bit annoying that the thing we are always criticizing are the fundamentals of the world you've created. Well, as I've been trained to think, you always revise higher order issues first. When we see a piece like this, and something about the fundamental world Constitution doesn't quite sit right with us, we're not gonna point out typos or places where your prose seems a bit off. I'm not being extra-extra-harsh on you, although you are a nebulous entity I've never met. If I were an editor faced with Tolkien and Robert Jordan, I'd have criticisms for both of them.

Tolkien: you need more strong women characters, I find the way you populate the world somewhat unbelievable.

Robert Jordan(/Brandon Sanderson): You need to work on they way those women act...they're a bit sexist even though you have a lot of them. And you don't need every main character alive and married to make the end happy.
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by Ruy112 on Wed Nov 24, 2010 11:45 pm

Well put, Dark Smile
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by Zectiox on Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:21 am

I would really like to see Arzonus as a reality... I was trying to give you suggestions on, example the currency.. it went as it went.

and again searching on the suggestion page on Runescape forum.
Spoiler:
Mod Crew wrote:Step 3: Feedback


Once you've posted your idea you'll soon find others giving their opinions on it. Here are a few guidelines for surviving the third stage of your suggestion:

* Be prepared to accept negative responses
Not everyone will agree that your suggestion is suitable for the game. It can be disheartening to hear that some people disagree with you but don't be dismayed, all feedback can help you to shape an idea into something better. You should consider what others have to say and if you agree think about incorporating their ideas, or provide your own counter arguments if you disagree.

just have it in mind... as you have to face it someday..
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by MorbiusMonster on Thu Nov 25, 2010 7:17 am

I will now take questions.

(except for the usual question of "Will you be quitting Arzonus?" that Dusk will inevitably ask if I don't mention it straight away. I won't be quitting Arzonus, Dusk. I never intend to!)
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Re: Re: Arzonus, the City of Werewolves

Post by Duskcurse on Thu Nov 25, 2010 8:42 am

Few that's a relief Morb, so you checked and you never quitted?
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temp thread

Post by 3mptylord on Thu Nov 25, 2010 9:10 am

No, he said he hasn't quit on Arzonus. He didn't confirm either way whether he has or has not quit the deal.

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