RuneScape villains are a disgrace to evil!

I have recently looked back over my years of playing RuneScape whilst planning new quests and can't help but think how bad the RuneScape villains are.

For instance;
Sigmund - A xenophobic maniac who goes to extreme measure to wipe out a peaceful tribe who pose no threat to him or to his cause.
Fatal flaws - His enemy? A tribe of goblins. He is so pathetically weak that he can't even kill goblins the old fashioned way! Also, the moustache and beard look ridiculous as Jagex use the "classic foolish villain" look, and he must be really messed up to conduct out a genocidal cause... in pink!

Culinarocromancer - A twisted magician from another dimension hell-bent on killing RuneScape leaders.
Fatal flaws - His army consists entirely of food, which is just plain ridiculous and he himself is incredibly weak. If he wanted to kill the leaders of RuneScape, why doesn't he employ the traditional method... actually killing them?

The Vampyres - Evil, undead beings from Morytania enslaving humanity with a dreadful tax.
Fatal flaw - If you wanted to impose a presence on the human race with your blood taxes, you really should do it very differently, not organised, but by randomly picking one individual and chasing them down to savagely drain them dry. And you wouldn't achieve anything looking like the way you do. And what the hell is with the spine curviture.

And the list goes on...

Probably the only reason the Mahjarrat shock us so much is not just because they mericlessly killed heroes, but because they are deadly serious about what they want, that they an effort to actually be threatening and evil. Do you all agree that more villains should be like our dear old enemies, the Mahjarrat?

Sigmund was suppose to be a gimmick. Pointless game plan, cool little goaty. You don't keep watching Pokemon as a child because Team Rocket succeeded.

Culinarocromancer tried to kill them. Aris time-locked the whole thing, allowing us to save them before he killed them. Which is why he turned on us. Also, the food-gimmick was suppose to be a laugh. Get a sense of humour.

Vampyres - the fatal flaw in your flaw is that all vampires who have ever done that in the past in almost any story have failed miserably. Also, they are limited to a realm with a limited supply of living blood. To be honest, the whole farm idea is a pretty intelligent way of biding time. Dog blood doesn't taste nice and you shouldn't drink dead blood.

Well, a lot of the harmless bad guys are for comedy, while the the actually bad ones are quite evil...

About vampires.....


" Dog blood doesn't taste nice and you shouldn't drink dead blood."

um...? o.o

Well, aside from werewolves the only major inhabitant of Morytania are the deceased.

What is this thing vampires have about calling werewolves dogs? Werewolves don't call them batty boys do they?

Well. there's no zoological difference between a domesticated dog and grey wolf. So it's really just a choice of words. Dog is used especially when refer negatively upon wolves because it seems to annoy them...

I personally adopted it from Being Human. One of the vampires said "Why does it smell like wet dog? Oh, that's right--" with a sneer. Or something like that.

Batty boys doesn't really work because that kinda has another meaning, and whilst it might be correct for certain "shiny vampires", most vampires aren't as korny. Also, the whole bat-form is often just a story within a story; "What about becoming a bat?" "That's just an old wives' tale".

Also, maybe it's because the werewolves are dirt compared to the Vampyres...I mean, the Vampyres are in charge so of course they'll be more likely to have a derogatory name for 'em

I think werewolves may have names for vampires/vampyres. One term I think that they tend to use phrases like bloodied albinos or cursed albinos (because they are too pale and the red eye thing as well). I think they may also use terms like Soulless ones, judging by the fact that vampyres may choose longevity because of vanity reasons and that they are also undead.

Werewolves could easily own vampires/vampyres. The ratio is to be kept constantly at 4 werewolves to every vampire.

I've never heard any such nicknames for vampires. I think I've heard "vampy", "vamp boy" and "bat boy" (not batty boy) but only like once a piece. Usually the vampire is playing the role of top-of-the-food chain, and thus people are usually too busy fearing them to come up with nicknames. "Bloodsucker" isn't really derogatory.

Also... who enforces that ratio? 'cause it's clearly highlighting that vampires are better if it takes four werewolves for it to be "balanced".

Werewolves are the jews of the mythological/folklore creatures. Pushed around by all the other mythological creatures.

I've noticed an embarrasing pattern with vampires and werewolves. Both seem omnipotent and unbeatable monstrocities of night, caring not for the meekness of humanity or any other being. . . until that well-timed moment where someone or something comes along which can butcher the lot of them in the space of ten minutes. Surprise!

Oh? I thought the pattern was that both are appearing in the same content and that both seem to be content with living alongside humanity and hate each other. Oh, and that both seem to be each others weaknesses... or, both have weaknesses and one of the vampire's is the werewolf (it's not normally the other way around).

It seems that the Arzonus werewolves hold themselves in high regard, mainly because of the very strong spiritual sense they have, and the Heart of the city might have something to do with it.

And we could go on forever about the vampire and werewolf evolutionary rivalry, but that is Twilight, not RuneScape. This thread was to comment on some villains being laughable bad.

Would I do myself justice listing the Arzonus villains?

^IDK Depends on which villain you criticize first


Thought the Buyers and Cellars villain was quite funny.

Is he the villain in the story? Or is he just a seedy protagonist? Oh well, I consider him a villain.

*Sigh* If only Jagex could hire Sir Terry Pratchett to write the quest dialogues...

I don't think I've intentionally made my villains laughable bad, but rather more serious, despite their motives being relatively generic.

My villians are always dastardly evil, and they're finding new ways to destroy Runescape! They usually aren't one villain either, but groups of them.

trixtor wrote:*Sigh* If only Jagex could hire Sir Terry Pratchett to write the quest dialogues...

Are those books any good?

The whole destroying the world thing is boring though... why exactly do they want to do this?

'cause it's kinda the most evilest thing you can do

Ruy112 wrote:

trixtor wrote:*Sigh* If only Jagex could hire Sir Terry Pratchett to write the quest dialogues...

Are those books any good?

You haven't read Discworld yet?! The guy was Knighted for these books. Yes they are very, very, VERY good.

Easy easy...

When my list of 7+ books is trimmed down, I'll acquire a book or two...

Ruy112 wrote:'cause it's kinda the most evilest thing you can do

Than you are using stupid evil. Smart evil is virtually indistinguishable from smart good and smart neutral on that same scale.

If you want the most evilest thing to do, let someone destroy everything they love forcefully, and then tell them it was a joke.

Or try and eat my cookies.

Jer... When was the last time you checked your cookie jar?

*brushes of crumbs*

The most evil people in world are those that make other people commit the evils in their name or unawaringly assist the cause, without them even realising it.