HomeThe Storywriter (my book)
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The Storywriter (my book)
by Blackpsych Fri Jul 30, 2010 5:22 pm
Introduction:
The writer stares at the blank sheet of clear white paper in front of him, unable to think of something to write. Usually the ink is flowing across the paper like a river, creating a world around it as it spreads across the paper. The past couple months were different. The past couple months writing has been challenging. There are no tales of depressing grief, none of heart warming romance. The past couple months, the writer has not been able to finish an idea, unable to continue what he begins. Frustrated, he crumples the snowy white paper and throws it at the floor. The crumpled paper hits many of his other unfinished idea's. The floor was covered in them. The Uwalls around him are a deep blue and on them there is one thing, hung there, perfectly straight, is a portrait of a man and a women, holding hand and smiling in a garden. The picture was labeled "Rodrick and Lucile, Falls garden." The Writer looked at the picture and started to weep.
The writer stares at the blank sheet of clear white paper in front of him, unable to think of something to write. Usually the ink is flowing across the paper like a river, creating a world around it as it spreads across the paper. The past couple months were different. The past couple months writing has been challenging. There are no tales of depressing grief, none of heart warming romance. The past couple months, the writer has not been able to finish an idea, unable to continue what he begins. Frustrated, he crumples the snowy white paper and throws it at the floor. The crumpled paper hits many of his other unfinished idea's. The floor was covered in them. The Uwalls around him are a deep blue and on them there is one thing, hung there, perfectly straight, is a portrait of a man and a women, holding hand and smiling in a garden. The picture was labeled "Rodrick and Lucile, Falls garden." The Writer looked at the picture and started to weep.
- Spoiler:
- Chapter 1
Last edited by Blackpsych on Thu Aug 05, 2010 12:41 pm; edited 24 times in total
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Dark Avorian Tue Aug 03, 2010 11:18 am
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Dark Avorian Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:14 pm
oh...I fail
like all BBCode, you contain the code in brackets...
[...] blah taxt blah text blah [/...]
the"..." can be replaced with "spoiler" to do this
or "i" for italics
blah taxt blah text blah
or quote for a quote
like all BBCode, you contain the code in brackets...
[...] blah taxt blah text blah [/...]
the"..." can be replaced with "spoiler" to do this
- Spoiler:
- blah taxt blah text blah
or "i" for italics
blah taxt blah text blah
or quote for a quote
blah taxt blah text blah
Dark Avorian- Templar
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Blackpsych Tue Aug 03, 2010 2:04 pm
Dark, how was it? ty for the help
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Dark Avorian- Templar
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by MorbiusMonster Tue Aug 03, 2010 9:20 pm
I remember doing something similar to this last year as an early draft of coursework, but it didn't score too well. I called it Writer's Block.
Yours is still good.
Yours is still good.
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Blackpsych Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:47 am
I will be posting chapter one shortly.
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Blaze FF8 Wed Aug 04, 2010 4:16 am
Wow, that's quite a few of us trying our hand at professional literature. 
Be careful when posting chapters, content or anything you wouldn't want stolen
over the internet though, Black. While I doubt anyone here would steal, once
it's on the net, anything can happen to it, depending on who sees it.
Unless, of course, you've already established copywrite.
Be careful when posting chapters, content or anything you wouldn't want stolen
over the internet though, Black. While I doubt anyone here would steal, once
it's on the net, anything can happen to it, depending on who sees it.
Unless, of course, you've already established copywrite.
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Blackpsych Wed Aug 04, 2010 7:12 am
I have already copyrighted it. I need the copyright symbol online so I can do it
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by blank Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:40 pm
How do you copyright stuff? just put the symbol in front/after it?
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by The Empty Lord Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:26 am
You don't "get it copyright", it is copyright the moment it enters the public domain in a tangible medium - ie, posted, etc. It's a right, and it's valid on published AND unpublished work.
Being copyrighted is not the same as being published or patented. All a copyright does is put authorship on original works. If you right a story copyright means it's you wrote it, and your protected from other people stealing it.
Being copyrighted is not the same as being published or patented. All a copyright does is put authorship on original works. If you right a story copyright means it's you wrote it, and your protected from other people stealing it.
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by MorbiusMonster Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:52 am
Many of us will try our hand at literature and perform well at it on the surface, but few of us can be really skilled and successfully make memorable pieces, be it for the imagery, story, characters or maybe for the controversy (in the case of Twilight). Yes, it may look good and sound good to read, but on closer inspection, nothing is particularly ground breaking about it. People will always give positive feedback, but that is to make you feel good and continue your work and most of the time they are empty comments, like when you glance at something and comment on it being nice. It's one of my pet peeves, particularly when you look at the comment and think "they haven't read this properly, otherwise they'd have more to say". It's those kind of things that make our work feel like nought, moreso than negative feedback.
Copyrighting isn't just sticking the symbol of copyright onto your work. You'll need to consult a proper solicitor or lawyer in order to get the copyright properly authenticated and therefore keep it your own. I cannot establish copyright on my work and neither could Blaze as we wrote both of our stories onto the free forums of a copyrighted project as a means of expanding the stories. It can take weeks and quite a bit of money to give documents copyright, but you MUST remember this, if you add copyright far too soon, it won't be published. And it is always best to seek professional opinion and criticism from someone who is familiar with what they are doing and ask for their feedback, or ask multiple people who specialise in review before even considering copyrighting, otherwise you can't go back and fully change your work. I plan to do so someday, Blaze should be doing the same and you should work on yours more and then seek professional consultation.
I am trying not to be deliberately negative, but keep any ideas of early sucess and approval out of your head. It's nice to feel appreciated, but most comments will be empty as an instinctive response. Demand proper reviews and criticism, not just passing comments. It's a personal pet peeve of mine to see "nice lol", "very good, you're imaginative" and "it's a masterpiece, well done" everywhere I look next to my work.
Copyrighting isn't just sticking the symbol of copyright onto your work. You'll need to consult a proper solicitor or lawyer in order to get the copyright properly authenticated and therefore keep it your own. I cannot establish copyright on my work and neither could Blaze as we wrote both of our stories onto the free forums of a copyrighted project as a means of expanding the stories. It can take weeks and quite a bit of money to give documents copyright, but you MUST remember this, if you add copyright far too soon, it won't be published. And it is always best to seek professional opinion and criticism from someone who is familiar with what they are doing and ask for their feedback, or ask multiple people who specialise in review before even considering copyrighting, otherwise you can't go back and fully change your work. I plan to do so someday, Blaze should be doing the same and you should work on yours more and then seek professional consultation.
I am trying not to be deliberately negative, but keep any ideas of early sucess and approval out of your head. It's nice to feel appreciated, but most comments will be empty as an instinctive response. Demand proper reviews and criticism, not just passing comments. It's a personal pet peeve of mine to see "nice lol", "very good, you're imaginative" and "it's a masterpiece, well done" everywhere I look next to my work.
MorbiusMonster- Templar
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Dark Avorian Thu Aug 05, 2010 4:03 am
Okay. You want me to be critical. I can do that..
To be honest Blackpsych. I like the writing itself but I get no feeling from it. The imagery is nice but honestly It seems live a stringing together of basic and clicheed literary devices to tell a story that is actually somewhat common. I just don't get a feel for who the character is except for depressed writer-guy.
"Usually the ink is flowing across the paper like a river, creating a world around it as it spreads across the paper. The past couple months were different. The past couple months there has been a dam stopping the flow of the beautiful river and the world being created around it."
Okay...metaphors...lose the purple prose. It burns my eyes, it doesn't have to all be exquisite metaphors and deliciously concocted descriptions.
Take this excerpt Morbius here posted recently.
This has an attitude. A ferocious and commanding one. It drags you in, chains you to a seat and proceeds to explain in detail what is going on. It may be hard to understand the difference between purple prose (what you're doing) and the sort of nicely descriptive language used by Morbius here. Sometimes it's good to just say what is going on. I know it may seem like that's what you're doing, perhaps I'm all off and the paragraph you gave us is just a minor intro or something.
Now...about cliches. You may protest that Morbius's piece is different, it's an action scene from fantasy. But let me make this clear. Morbius gets off a lot easier just because of that. He can draw this from his imagination which is different from anyone else's. You are drawing from your imagination...but your also writing a story about a writer. While that can have superb personal notes it can also devolves quickly and precipitously into cliche territory. Guess who know what it feels like to be a writer? writers! Guess who have a lot of common experiences about that subject? Writers! Who writes stories? Writers! Therefore it's been done to death
Morbius?
Are you?
To be honest Blackpsych. I like the writing itself but I get no feeling from it. The imagery is nice but honestly It seems live a stringing together of basic and clicheed literary devices to tell a story that is actually somewhat common. I just don't get a feel for who the character is except for depressed writer-guy.
"Usually the ink is flowing across the paper like a river, creating a world around it as it spreads across the paper. The past couple months were different. The past couple months there has been a dam stopping the flow of the beautiful river and the world being created around it."
Okay...metaphors...lose the purple prose. It burns my eyes, it doesn't have to all be exquisite metaphors and deliciously concocted descriptions.
Take this excerpt Morbius here posted recently.
- Spoiler:
- "From the safety of the mountain rock, I observed the happenings of the crater from which evil made its presence overwhelmingly known. The robed mayor of Lupine stepped forth, carrying an ancient, cursed tome in his arm, observed the sinister monolith in the centre of the crater, stroked it and it responded by glowing in a sinister fashion that I couldn't help but feel greatly concerned over.
The monolith, crafted from material my mortal eyes had never seen, had a dark presence about it as if it was plugging the very whole into the underworld, but also being contaminated from the energies within, acting as a beacon to all evils that found themselves compatible with this force of unnatural power. I sadly collected no samples of said monolith for I was unable to obtain any prior to its activation, due to only just recently discovering it and there was no chance of collecting it now, particularly since said obelisk now ceases to be.
The mayor read the incantation, illuminating the crater with a series of lines and patterns, as if a network had been intergrated into the very foundations of the mountain. As each channel pulsed with the paranormal electrical influence, a thick black fog erupted from cracks, fissures and crevaces in the crater surface. The mineral plugging the gap into the underworld cracked, shattered and dissolved revealing a being that at first appeared deformed. Gradually the shattered crystal shrouded it and as it did so, my second heart felt as if it was having an attack by just watching this frightful scene, for what I witnessed was the rebirth of Arzonus' greatest documented adversary; the Nightmare.
The Nightmare, appearing shrivelled at first, like an aged and decrepid being slowly stroked his face with his hand as both it and his body began becoming more solid, the flesh regrowing itself and becoming thicker by the second till it appeared more of a person than it did previously. Erupting from the base of it's neck, where the back of the head met the spine, a third, immaterial arm grew forth from a specially designed spaulder on its long coat and preened through its fine grey hair as it grew longer and thicker. Gradually, it mustered enough strength to open two monstrously red eyes and the pupils within formed and it gazed at its surroundings with eager intent, each eye moving independently. Finally it cast forth a fedora, placed it squarely on its head and let forth a roar from a mouth that was non-existent. The roar unlike anything ever heard, it was unerhtly, consisting of the sound of monsters and people screaming in fear and agony and suddenly ceasing, that even to this day still makes my blood run cold.
This has an attitude. A ferocious and commanding one. It drags you in, chains you to a seat and proceeds to explain in detail what is going on. It may be hard to understand the difference between purple prose (what you're doing) and the sort of nicely descriptive language used by Morbius here. Sometimes it's good to just say what is going on. I know it may seem like that's what you're doing, perhaps I'm all off and the paragraph you gave us is just a minor intro or something.
Now...about cliches. You may protest that Morbius's piece is different, it's an action scene from fantasy. But let me make this clear. Morbius gets off a lot easier just because of that. He can draw this from his imagination which is different from anyone else's. You are drawing from your imagination...but your also writing a story about a writer. While that can have superb personal notes it can also devolves quickly and precipitously into cliche territory. Guess who know what it feels like to be a writer? writers! Guess who have a lot of common experiences about that subject? Writers! Who writes stories? Writers! Therefore it's been done to death
Morbius?
Are you?
Dark Avorian- Templar
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by MorbiusMonster Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:49 am
Sorry, what did I say?
Most of the time I'm just a visual or audial descriptivist. I always find it best to explain a point using either a motion picture or a musical or audio accompaniment.
At this point I was picturing a scene from the Goblet of Fire when the Dark Lord returns whilst listening to the roar of Perfect Dark Gaia in my head.
Most of the time I'm just a visual or audial descriptivist. I always find it best to explain a point using either a motion picture or a musical or audio accompaniment.
At this point I was picturing a scene from the Goblet of Fire when the Dark Lord returns whilst listening to the roar of Perfect Dark Gaia in my head.
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Dark Avorian Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:35 am
Oh I'm sorry morbius...I actually love that excerpt...I was using it to help create a contrast between his piece and yours..
See, for me one of the most frustrating things is the difference between, engaging, beautiful, descriptive writing; and "purple prose." purple prose is just an overuse of fanciful metaphor and strung-together cliches which while may at first look appealing can become annoying or lack the attitude of the aforementioned.
See, for me one of the most frustrating things is the difference between, engaging, beautiful, descriptive writing; and "purple prose." purple prose is just an overuse of fanciful metaphor and strung-together cliches which while may at first look appealing can become annoying or lack the attitude of the aforementioned.
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Blackpsych Thu Aug 05, 2010 12:36 pm
I did overuse the metafors but I am a poet and an intro for me is like a poem so ya I went too far, oh ya by the way this is also a thread for all my other written prices for constructive criticism and it is only a minor intro
Last edited by Blackpsych on Thu Aug 05, 2010 1:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Blackpsych Thu Aug 05, 2010 1:53 pm
Chapter 2 will be posted before chapter 1 because chapter 1 is going to be co
pletely redone for personal reasons, don't read it if you want to read chapter 1 first ( it will not be all of chapter 2 I will edit it as I write) you are my editors. This may sound weird but I'm really writing for fun and I'm a weird person
pletely redone for personal reasons, don't read it if you want to read chapter 1 first ( it will not be all of chapter 2 I will edit it as I write) you are my editors. This may sound weird but I'm really writing for fun and I'm a weird person
Blackpsych- Proselyte
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Dragon78114 Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:47 pm
Black, are you a citizen of the USA? If you are one, I can send you a link to the US Copyright Office webpage; they'll have all the info you need! 
Also, please take Avorian's and Morbius's ideas not so hard- they are kind of aggressive, so please don't feel distruaght. They'll tell you if they like your stuff or not, as proven already.
Everyone here writes for fun!
Also, please take Avorian's and Morbius's ideas not so hard- they are kind of aggressive, so please don't feel distruaght. They'll tell you if they like your stuff or not, as proven already.
Everyone here writes for fun!
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Dark Avorian Fri Aug 06, 2010 12:02 am
I may sound agressive but I actually like the piece...
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by Blackpsych Tue Aug 10, 2010 2:22 pm
Sorry for the delay, I have been really busy. Should be posting a poem soon and part of chapter 1. Please criticize well and a lot
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Re: The Storywriter (my book)
by MorbiusMonster Fri Aug 13, 2010 3:58 am
Dark, that excerpt you found, where was it?
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