The Axarian Revolution [PROGRESS STOPPED FOR NOW]

First topic message reminder :

Alright, I posted the seventh quest in the series! However, due to my time constraints, I'm only posting the first quest here; every other quest is on our wiki page. 
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In a land called the Azzain Peninsula, a dictatorship rules a large and prosperous city named Azzan. Now this dictatorship subjugates its pawns, exiles heretics or anyone deemed to cause political instability, and imports unsuspecting newcomers to be brainwashed into their new society.  …

Luckily inside Axar, a city just south of Azzan and is made up of those exiled citizens, hides a resistance known as the Zarr Clan. This resistance is a group of honest Axarians who know what the Priests are doing and they need the help of an outsider to launch one of the most daring feats in Runescape's history: end the tyranny the Priests bring upon their world.

This series is fun, dramatic, and violent: a perfect mix of ingredients for a gripping political drama…all in these nine challenging quests. Of course the first quest is easiest, being only novice, but each successive quest will get harder, with the last three (3) quests being grandmaster.

So, are you up for the challenge?

well... Axar IV I think is personally coming along beautifully! Can't wait for its release in November!

just a few more hours............

I can only release it in a minimum of 5 hours...or should I release it at 11:11 my time?

well it has been released!

Fret not, I intend to give this another read through. It might take me a while to finish it fully, what with things needing done, but i want to see how things have changed, and how it's progressed.

thanks! take your time; I wrote this to not be read in one sitting

I've re-read the first quest. It's a good start, all in all, a fair-paced introduction to the Axar and their plight.

A few things I'd like to mention, however, are:
- The reward is quite empty. If the player needs to have Lv13 magic, 200exp is going to seem very little for them.
- The Axarians are called "aethiestic Zamorak worshippers". This doesn't make sense - an athiest is someone who doesn't believe in any god of any kind.
- The chandelier task is a little too vague. Many players might not think to burn it down, unless you hint toward it just a little more.
- The player says they don't want to seem like a troublemaker, right after admitting they wish they could trash the stage.

Thanks your your input; I'll definitely take you ideas in to consideration!

I know the passage is contradictory; it was intentional.

"- The reward is quite empty. If the player needs to have Lv13 magic, 200exp is going to seem very little for them."

Well, I also included an amulet... I don't know if I put that on here; I'll check.

Whoops! I forgot to make that update (I added it that after I posted it on the RSOF)

The Churches in Ardougne are reduced to rubble and cinder! The Prime Evildoer broke into Azzan's Altar and stole precious documents! He later set the criminal Jaick Cadgeson the Nefarious loose from the benevolent Rodiniya's hands!

Where is he now and when will he strike next? Gielinor is in shock and wants to know.


Who is this Prime evildoer!?

He is you in Axar V.

SHAT JUST GOT REAL!

finally getting around to finishing Axar V. It is coming beautifully and should be available sometime this week!

my story is getting exciting…. :}….I cannot wait to post it tomorrow….!

Okay guys, so I need some help. I know you are all a little hesitant on helping me but I need it.

In Axar V, it is a traditional thing to include the Devotion Project - a banned ritual which allows you to become a True Follower of The Azzai - because you have to be a True Follower to steal and operate the Azzain Rituality, which becomes available in Axar VI.

See, in the new plot the Devotion Project comes after the riot when the High Priest Tyrein makes an appearance and announces that Proposition 8 needs support and may pass which would allow the Priests to lift "past bans on weapons of mass destruction to cleanse Axar of its problems." (Before, the Priests blamed you and the Clan for rampant terrorism in Ardougne).

Does it seem extra and should I include it in Axar VI where you carry out the actual mission, go in to Hector's realm to learn the spells, and be resurrected from the dead? But if I do add it to the next quest, then I have effectively removed the boss fight in Axar V.

What should I do!? >.<

I'm sorry, you have something called Prop 8 in your quest...

I know.

but.... I can change it to proposition 6...and at the same token spicing up the game with a little satire and/or allegory could be fun and controversial...

EDIT: So what should I do?

...love all the help I've received. Well, I made my decision. It shall be revealed soon...

...and I posted the fifth quest. You all should take a look!

OMG! I just had a revelation a few minutes ago! The Cave of Sand and Hector's Realm will no longer be in the Azzain Peninsula! Its new locale would be the cave where the River Elid has its source! It fits perfectly becuase it that location is Hector's fabled birthplace, so that would make it logical to have his realm and the entrance (or the Cave of Sand) there!

Opinions before I write that in the final document?

EDIT: If you have read quest 5 the idea would make more sense, since the Devotion Project takes place there.

I still have to read that and continue discussing the spellbook. >.<

Well I am awaiting your response in the Azzain Spell book thread.

If you are scared of the length of each quest, I'm putting half-post long descriptions of each quest on my RSOF page.

I'm putting Quest 6 in Act I after considering that in Quest 6 you prepare the Zarr Clan for rebellion. (As a matter of organizing things).

well then... no one has reviewed quest 5 and it has been online for quite a while now

I've had a pretty busy week - it was my last week of school and there were lots of things that needed to get done before I left.

However, now I'm on study leave, I should be able to find time soon. Feel free to pester me to keep me reminded...

thank you and I will.

Just to update you as to where I am. I've just read the summaries of the first 4 quests, and will re-read them later tonight (there are a lot of twists and turns, after all)

Tomorrow, then, I'll be reading through quest 5. I may write my review as I go, or I may write it later, in which case you'll be waiting longer (sorry about that).

Question: Would you like the review to be here or on the RSOF?